2024 in review

This past year has been big for so many reasons, and now at the end, need to take a moment to pause, look back, but also most importantly for myself, need to make changes to really find myself “living”.

I feel like I’ve been given the forks in the road: and now it is up to me to make the changes.

This year started with ice cream. Still living in Point Cook, Victoria, it was only recently that I had discovered Sprinkles Ice Creamery. Probably a good thing a move was on the radar: that place was dangerous. I do recall running to the ice cream shop before a storm hit like some sugar-lacking crazy person. But banana choc chip on an Oreo-dipped cone was totally worth it.

I also went to a preview of a musical in Melbourne, Groundhog Day. I’m not a huge fan of the movie - can take it or leave it - but the preview ticket price was so attractive, thought it’d be worth a shot. Great seats in the Dress Circle, and a score that just connected with me. I feel this interpretation of the story - and led by Andy Karl of Broadway and West End fame - enhanced the underlying message of Groundhog Day, almost like an opportunity for the movie’s original writer to have an opportunity for revision and refinement. With superb staging and trickery on the stage (always love that real-life magic), this production just hit all the right notes for me, and got the feels for sure. I feel Phil’s journey started to illustrate the lessons in mindfulness (more on that in The Invisible Developer later in the year), and one that I need to stop and take time to pause: and that deeply resonated with me.

By February, Michael and I had made the decision to move to Adelaide, and made a few trips over to look at potential properties. After a last-minute flight Saturday day trip to South Australia (due to offers closing on the Monday), there was one final property. It was one that Michael had seen online, but originally discounted as there was no price disclosed (our translation = “very expensive”) and the hero image was not the greatest, but one that ticked every single box for two work-from-home guys. Close to my parents, and close to my brother and his family, two separate living areas, two areas for work-from-home spaces, and under our maximum budget. And the nice-to-have-but-didn’t-know-we-wanted feature of a stunning view over the Adelaide plains.

On Tuesday, after a little back-and-forth between us and one other potential buyer, we got the signal: offer accepted. We were moving to Adelaide.

With a short settlement, we were moving to Adelaide before Easter. So squeezed in as much Melbourne as we could: this included seeing Groundhog Day a second time (equally as stunning and beloved), and Wicked for its return to Melbourne, and just as epic as always. There were visits to the Werribee Open Range Zoo, minutes from our home in Point Cook, and trips to the city, and my favourite, one final trip to Grazeland (the fried chicken there was a staple of mine).

Oh, and one last visit to Sprinkles Ice Creamery.

The most stressful adventure was to come: packing up our home of 15 years, getting it shipped to Adelaide, and driving over to Adelaide with our two (feline) boys, Toby and Zack, in the car. As two indoor cats, we were unsure of how they’d go in the car, in their cat carriers, for such a long period of time. It was a long day, but they were surprisingly calm, and Toby even fell asleep for most of the drive too. And we arrived in our new home, let the boys out to explore (took them a while to leave their carriers), but after a bit of time, food and cuddles, they have both learnt what two flights of stairs are like. And boy does Zack gallop up and down them like the monster he is.

We unpacked over the Easter weekend, and I learnt a few things:

• the stairs are slippery, and I need grippy socks (yes, I slipped down the stairs… and Michael did too),

• my desk is too big and needs to lose 15cm to fit in the space (i.e. get hacked and re-sealed), and

• paying for removalists to carry things up stairs is worth every cent.

This weekend was also a reminder in how fragile I am: I slipped a disc in my back again but moving the wrong way too quickly.

So what do I need to do? Slow down. Take better care of myself.

Am I listening yet? Not really… but… more on that in December.

With a back on the mend, April was time to explore the area. That includes walks in the parklands behind the house - and guess what, koalas and kangaroos live there too. We can go walking through some parkways, see native wildlife and birds, without having to cross a road. And also exploring the city more, including the Central Market, my first visit to the monthly PHP Adelaide, and near-by national parks like Morialta Conservation Park, and more nesting activities like new curtains, window tinting, and my favourite, wall mounting TVs.

There’s something so sublimely satisfying about having TVs wall mounted, with recessed power, and hidden HDMI cables. It’s just so sleek.

I’ve continued seeing James, my psychologist, via telehealth, which has been reassuringly consistent and productive - it is nice to have him available without needing to find someone new to start the story all over again. And these sessions continued all throughout the year, and will continue in 2025 too.

Toby and Zack are exploring their new home, finding their favourite spots to sleep (and where to catch the sun), and getting used to the parkway out the front (people would walk past, so they have learnt what is a threat (nothing) and what isn’t a threat (everything). The really funny part, every house along the strip has the same gate, and they know ours from everyone else’s: someone else’s gate opens, no reaction; ours opens, high alert.

With the back (very very) slowly mending, I also met my new manager at the gym when I was transferred from Goodlife Point Cook to Goodlife Burnside. Funnily enough, is the first club I was every at as a member, and where I started my instructor journey in 2007. I was looking forward to finding my feet as an instructor in Adelaide.

Adelaide was becoming home, and started to settle in more. This included my first venture out with the camera too, and captured the Aurora Australis from Port Willunga beach: I’ve never actually seen an aurora with the naked eye before, but this, surprisingly this far North, was visible. And strangely I think my only outing with the camera for the year. But I feel I’ve lost my creative mojo, and with a back that needed more time to reset, it wasn’t the highest on my priority list.

Family was one of the reasons for the move, and got introduced to Eurovision by my brother. With two (very) young kids who wake up early, it was an invite to their place at 4am to watch the final live. And I absolutely loved it. And got to drink champagne at something-o-clock in the morning, but loved the energy, performances and campness of the competition. I even won Eurovision Bingo: all about the wind machine, jorts, hats, sequins and a synchronised dance routine: that was my winning line.

But the most exciting news: my talk proposal for Laracon AU 2024 was accepted, and I received an invitation to speak again. This was a talk I had spoken to Michael (Dyrynda) about shortly after Laracon AU 2023, and felt equal parts excited and terrified at this opportunity given the talk’s subject matter: my experiences with anxiety and depression. But more on this in November.

It has been great to see my niece and nephew grow up - and have my niece start to recognise me - and converse with me. I don’t always understand what she’s saying (but in all fairness, I don’t think she does either) but being an uncle is growing on me.

Michael and I have been out more - the Adelaide Hills, Victor Harbor (funny fact: the only “harbour” in Australia without the “u”), and also saw Cirque du Soleil’s Luzia which was absolutely epic. And we also received delivery of our new couches - one for each living space. Finally!

When we moved, we sold tickets to Luzia and Chicago in Melbourne, so was lucky to be able to snag great seats for Adelaide for both of these shows.

There’s something truly special about live theatre: be that a musical, a play, or a modern circus. One thing that does need improvement is audience behaviour. I do find it quite perplexing how many can’t stay off their phone (and insist on filming). What are they going to do? Watch their shaky poor quality clips to relive the magic? Here’s a better idea: you’re actually there in person and get to experience it for real! But I feel there’s a whole blog post about that in me somewhere.

By this point, there has been so much disruption with work: trades coming in, curtains, tinting, sparkies, the list goes on. One thing to focus on for 2025 is less distraction. Sure it’s an hour here or there, but it all adds up. And when it does, it means I fall behind. And when that happens, those feelings of frustration set in. So for 2025, project schedules will be more effectively set: and also need to have better reactivity when things fall behind. But also need to avoid over-booking or over-extending myself: I’m the one who pays there.

We flew up to Sydney for a few days to see Michael’s folks, and also got to see one final performance of & Juliet, one of my favourite musicals: I love its message of love, inclusivity, self empowerment and self respect. I always love visiting Sydney as a tourist: and my favourite thing is to jump on a ferry to Manly, go for a walk, and grab a bite to eat (amazing cookies along the mall, and a burger overlooking the ocean goes down a treat too). The city and its harbour is absolutely gorgeous (when you visit as a tourist or have deep residential pockets), and being on a ferry is a great way to experience it - even in winter.

I’ve started running too. I enjoy the trails but lack the stamina especially on steep climbs. And the body doesn’t always like the impact. But it’s something different. Need to find a groove.

At this month’s PHP Adelaide, I gave an introductory talk about Blueprints, Fields and Fieldsets in Statamic, and filmed it too. I do love speaking, teaching and sharing ideas: but also when meetups are over, the moment is gone. I put a lot of effort in to preparing my speakings, so decided to record this - a camera on me, and a screen recording, and edit it together for YouTube.

More shows, including the Adelaide production of Chicago, plus a superb performance of Fourteen. This show has merit for film rights: hopefully someone snaps it up and does it justice.

I also took time this month to stand up for myself too, and terminate a working arrangement with a client. This client was high maintenance, highly demanding, unwilling to listen and expected support well-beyond what was agreed to. Being such a people pleaser, letting a client go is like breaking up with someone. But the moment that decision was made, a huge weight was lifted. Zero regrets there.

Life is too short to put up with crap. See, the lesson continues, look out for yourself. Because no one else will. Are you listening yet, Marty?

Flicking through my calendar as I write this is truly disturbing as to how busy things have been work-wise: but also how many interruption points there have been too. More tradie visits, meetings, more meetings, and even more meetings. No wonder a project is falling behind: I can’t seem to get anything done with constant interruptions.

This month I turned 41. And I got to do some shopping, have nuggets and chips at the beach (I’m such a child), and spend time with my family. I also got lectured by a 3 year old on the difference between a “slippery dip” and “slide”. Oh, there was cake too. And donuts!

I do feel there’s something about this time of year that really plays havoc with my mental health. I struggled. Really struggled. James (psychologist) suggested I try some gratitude journaling: this is something I do every day, and still do to this day. It gives me an opportunity to pause and reflect over the day; to look at what has happened, and to find the things I have been grateful for. Even in the dark days, what positivity and lightness can I find?

In hindsight, this has actually been good though: the challenges I’ve faced this year has given me more substance and balance for my Laracon AU 2024 talk.

Speaking of talks, I was invited to speak at the Laravel Worldwide Meetup too - live streaming at 10:30pm from Adelaide, live to the world. That was quite an opportunity! This was about building maintainable sites in Statamic.

So here’s the scary thought: there’s only a month until Laracon AU, which means I need to finalise my talk. I have had the skeleton ready for weeks, but need to flesh out the flow it out, and find out the right beats. I was given an opportunity to practice in front of a real audience: which meant that two weeks out from the conference, I needed to be fully prepared and ready to go.

Opening myself up was scary. How would I be seen? How would I feel? What would others think of me? Well, what others think of me is none of my business, being seen is part of public speaking, and for how I feel: well, each time I’d practice the talk, I’d break down in a different spot - but I was feeling the subject matter was becoming cathartic in a way too. I filmed my practice run, and used that for timing beats for my speaker notes, and held it together. And the best bit: received incredible (and written) feedback from the audience. That bit of positive reassurance was needed.

This month I got the opportunity to see Joanna Lumley live on stage too - which was incredible. I’m a huge Ab Fab fan, and her stories are fascinating. Watching Joanna Lumley, with her perfect British accent, morph in front of your eyes to be physically and vocally Patsy, was a highlight.

Suddenly it was November. That meant Laracon AU 2024.

My experience at Laracon AU 2024 was much better than that of 2023. I felt truly invisible in 2023, like I didn’t belong, felt lost and like I didn’t deserve to be there. I made an effort to speak to the other speakers and grab a selfie (and got all but one). It was great to meet some incredible faces like Matt Stauffer (who was my first connection to the Laravel community when I started with the framework) and real-world meetings with only-online contacts Mitch, Joe and Simon. Oh and meet Taylor Otwell too. And got to meet and get to know some amazing new people like Mandy, Joe, Dave, Keith, Sam and Eloise, plus re-connect with Stephen, Ryan, Jack, Kath, Jess, Josh, and of course Michael Dyrynda. Michael collected an incredibly giving and skilled group for this year’s speakers, and they’re all such friendly and welcoming people.

But in the lead up to my talk, watching how amazing the other speakers are, I honestly felt it wouldn’t land and didn’t think I could actually do it: after all, I knew exactly what my talk contained.

But I did. Unrelenting standards (watch the talk, it’ll make more sense). And I held it together (mostly). But was not prepared for the reaction and response that it received.

I talk more about this in its own post.

I still don’t quite understand how it landed. Especially coming from me. I’m just me. Someone who feels so insignificant, so invisible, what did I do to get that reaction, a standing ovation? What? My mind can’t comprehend it.

But I’m so proud of it, and have it up online for the world to see now too.

Michael came up to Brisbane with me too - his first Laracon - and we had a mini-break afterwards on the Sunshine Coast too, staying at the Crocodile Hunter Lodge at Australia Zoo: this was absolutely sublime, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time up there, humidity and all. Feeding kangaroos by hand, exploring the hinterland (and taking my camera out too!), seeing Robert Irwin at the crocodile show, and incredible service and quality of food and beverage at the lodge. Was a great way to decompress after a busy few months, and emotional few days.

Looking back at the year, it’s been massive: leaving communities in Victoria, such as the one from the gym, and redefining personal relationships. As I talked about in The Invisible Developer at Laracon AU 2024, I need to let go of those who aren’t ready to love me. And that’s hard. People pleaser, remember? But it is true: I’m investing so much of my (limited) time and energy in relationships that are not contributing anything positive back to me. And do I want that? No. Because I deserve better.

Moving to Adelaide has also opened up more personal relationships which have already shown greater warmth and value than those I’ve been fighting to hold on to. There are three in particular - all of whom I’ve seen throughout my time in Adelaide - who are so special. Thank you, guys.

The sprint is on to the end of the year. Busy. Busy. Chaos. Busy. And, I’m not listening yet. So I do my back again. Insane pain, and each time takes longer and longer to heal. And through the holidays.

The big lesson here: slow. down.

I still haven’t learnt that yet, have I?

Don’t do so much. Stop. Breathe. And there will always be time.

But work leading up to the holidays was busy: project work being ticked off, and the usual “I need this before Christmas” just days before going on leave. But come mid-afternoon on my last day of work, the final to-do item was ticked off, and I started my holidays. And am on holidays until January. I’ve spent some time revamping my site, enjoying family time, and the area we live.

A small piece of excitement before Christmas: our first bushfire in the area. And my first time calling 000 to report something like this. It is disturbing to learn it was deliberately lit (and the smaller one the following day too), so hopefully these mindless a-holes can find a better hobby (and get caught too). There was no damage to any property, but does also serve as a reminder to have a bushfire plan (which we do… but do you?).

Michael also took the plunge and purchased a 3D printer - the Bambu P1S with AMS. And it’s been fun to see what this machine can do. So no doubt there’ll be more printer-spam over the coming months. I need to spend some time finding some models for me too, and a STEM-based client has suggested some model ideas that provide some good foundations and logic for a beginner at designing their own.

Christmas was truly special: my niece is old enough to know about Santa, and was great to spoil both my niece and nephew. And without being big-headed, I must admit that I absolutely nailed the Best Uncle award with useful, practical and fun gifts. The moment a kelpie plush was unwrapped by my nephew, and he just held it so tight: oh my, too cute. This is why we moved: to connect, to be with people, not just doing everything remotely. Some things need to be in person.

I’ve also bought a pair of swimming goggles and just yesterday, did my first lap swim in forever. Good news, I didn’t sink. Bad news, freestyle absolutely kicks my butt. Breathing is hard. But kinder to the body than running, so let’s see how that goes in to 2025: my aim is to find enjoyment and self care in this, plus improve my fitness and health in the process too, beyond what teaching classes offers.

The big take away from this year is that I need to be kinder to myself, and most importantly, look after myself.

I’m definitely not doing that. So if you do see me not taking care of myself, you have my permission to remind me.

So I think I’ll start that right now by taking the rest of the year off. All remaining 14 hours of 2024.

Happy new year, and see you in 2025!